I’m afraid. Words I have often heard from people and always brushed off as insecurities. I often wondered why these insecurities manifested themselves because no one starts off having insecurities. I decided to do some research and found some interesting facts. Most people’s insecurities are projections of others in their life or social groups. There is a school of thought in the psychology field called Psychological Projection, which aims to show the human ego and how it defends itself by projecting insecurities onto others. Based on this theory so many people with fears, about failing may, in fact, be fears that other people projected on them.
So, what’s the significance of learning about Psychological Projection? Well, if we better understand why we are afraid to do something it may help us overcome it. Too many people have shunned away from something great because they were afraid of failing. I am not immune to this. I’m afraid of my art not being good enough; I’m scared to fail. Now is this me, or is this a projected insecurity from someone else? In game design that involves art, many people say only 2 out of every 10 people make it. Daunting numbers if you are one of the ten people. As an example, let’s say the person next to me leans over and says “Well I guess I won’t make it”; the person projects his/her insecurity onto me, and I start thinking, I’m not good enough to make that 20 percent. But what was I basing that off? A simple sentence some random person said to me that changes my mindset and crumbles my future because I allowed it to project insecurities that influence my life. The sad answer is yes, I allowed that person’s own insecurity to cripple me.
Here are three ways to deflect projected insecurities from others:
– Surround yourself with fearless people
The goal is to find people that have embraced the feeling of being challenged, who look at life as a challenge, not as an obstacle – filled with insecurities and doubt. Look for people that strive to own courage and take on titans. Bud Bilanich is a self-proclaimed career mentor. In an article he writes about “Surrounding Yourself with Positive People”, he points at a sales position as one example, and says the following: “To succeed in sales you must be self-confident, but by its very nature selling involves a lot of setbacks and rejection.” What Bilanich is saying is that in sales you are dealing with a lot more negativity than you do positivity so, by surrounding yourself with positive people you counter the negativity presented with rejection. Life is all about balance and maintaining a balance, of positive to negative to make life a lot simpler.
– Change your mindset
A simple thing to say but how does one do it? Well, it turns out the best way to change your mindset is to think about the situation as you did when you were a child. Because a child has no biases or insecurities, children live in the moment and dare to dream. This will change your mindset and remind you why you chose to achieve this goal or dream. Myrko Thum is an author that helps entrepreneurs create and sell profitable information. In the article “What is a Mindset” Thum mentions the need to find your voice. The author uses a quote from Stephen Covey that asked fours questions people need to ask themselves to find their voice.
What Thum conveys is patience and understanding in life. Think of yourself as a rubber band – if you’re quick to judge and express your opinions too fast, it would be like stretching a rubber band out to its max point, bringing it closer to its snapping point. But if you assess things in life, you start expanding slowly and through the slow, progressive nature, not only do you expand at a healthy rate, but you grow your mind, ultimately learning how to change your minds way of thinking.
– Remember the journey is supposed to be fun
Remind yourself that you are supposed to enjoy the journey to the end goal not just enjoy the end goal. When you enjoy the journey and embrace it, your life fills up with positivity. By enjoying the journey, you will appreciate the end and always strive to be better. Gary Vaynerchuk is an entrepreneur, marketing specialist, and inspirational speaker. He runs his own marketing firm consisting of 700 employees. In an interview conducted by Erik Wahl, Vaynerchuk expresses the importance of enjoying the journey by saying the following, “I made a video that is recorded for when I buy the New York Jets, and it’s going to say ‘ This is the worst day of my life’.” Vaynerchuk’s dream is to buy the New York Jets and when that finally happens and he has achieved his dream the journey that he enjoys so much will come to an end. A mountain climber doesn’t just enjoy being at the top of a mountain; he/she enjoys the journey up to the top. So, always remember to enjoy the journey because that’s just as important as the end goal. Enjoy Life!
In the end, fear is nothing more than the power you give it. You can decide to be fearful and watch as others achieve your dreams, or you can take life by the horns and in strides to achieve your own dreams. I will leave you with a very powerful quote from a man who has struggled with fears and advertises in life “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but rather the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela
Contributed by Free2Luv Advocate Michael Scotten